Women in a man's world?

This could be such a long post and there's an awful lot of thoughts going round in my head!

It's interesting to me that there is such a stereotyping of roles for genders.  Most of it is just taken as 'that's just how it is'....but it doesn't have to be like that.

My two young daughters were watching a children's programme on television where a man and a lady dress up and pretend to do different jobs....this particular show had the lady dressing up as a builder...and my 4 year old made a groan of displeasure and muttered something about it being a boys job!  I don't think I've ever told her that she could be a builder if she wanted to be....the general assumption is that builders are men. 

I was invited to attend the Guernsey Women's Development Forum recently and was very interested in the topic of "female breadwinners".

I think women have a pretty clear understanding of what issues they face so perhaps it is time for the men to be involved in these presentations, for them to hear and start to understand the battles we face as women in our professions. But on the other side, what about the attitude of women...I am not a fan of generalisation and tend to avoid it if I can....... I think there should be an opportunity for men to be involved in these conversations that women have.

I also think that positions in leaderships and on boards should be given on the merits of the individual; what skills does that person have? What is their experience? Or level of expertise? What can they bring to our business and how can they help move the business forward and make improve,nets I. The areas important to us? Eg bottom line, market share, reputation etc.

I don't think it is right for it to be a competition between men and women as to who can get to the top but more so an opportunity of working together. To compliment each other. Does it matter if there isn't a woman in the leadership team or on the board? Yes and no! Depends on the reasons why. If its because the men have an attitude of the women not being up to job then that's not right but if there really isn't a woman in the organisation with the right skills or experience to offer value to the team then there's no point in having a woman in the team for the sake of it.

We're still changing the traditional mindset....how many of us grew up with the man of the house being the provider and the woman being the homemaker and childminder? Many families still work this way but I think it is changing.  I think women faced the dilemma of needing to go out to work again during the 1980s when interest rates were high and mortgages were a struggle.  It came out of necessity, women not really having much choice.  They gained a sense of independence, of achievement and could make their own financial contribution to their family.  

From this I think perhaps some of these women actually decided they liked working.....it wasn't just working because they had to, they enjoyed it, found it more purposeful and satisfying than being at home.  I'm not denying being a homemaker and looking after children isn't an important job, it certainly is and I, personally, take my hat off to those mothers who are full time careers for their families. It's a tough job!

My own experience is interesting....I have two children,one at school and one starting later this year.  Just over two years ago I went back to work full time, purely due to financial need and my husband became part time and took over the school and nursery run and after school care.  At first I hated it!  But, as time has gone on, it's been the best thing we ever did.  Financially, we manage better, I enjoy my job and fee like I'm making a career out of it and my husband is much better at looking after the girls than I am!!  He says he wouldn't want to go back to work full time now.  We are basically playing to our strengths.  We work well as a team.  I couldn't do what I do without him being there for our children.  Other people seem to have more of an issue with it than we do!  I go away on business from time to time, being away from home for a night to two; I study or work late.  It's not an issue for us but for others it is, however, if I was a man doing this job, working late, going away on business no head would turn, no second thought would be Ives...it's what men do....right?  

Perhaps now is the time to realise that women can have a career, that they can do just as well as men but lets not make it a competition, lets make it a collaboration, complimentary members of teams, of leadership, of boards.  

There's so much more I could say.....maybe that's another post sometime?

How's your attitude?

It’s your ATTITUDE not your APTITUDE that determines your ALTITUDE

http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130501104129-32175171-it-s-your-attitude-not-your-aptitude-that-determines-your-altitude

James Caan has written an article (see link above) about this statement.

I think I have to agree with him. The attitude we have will always make a difference to how we get on in life.  This isn't just about work; I think our attitude is important in all aspects of our lives. 

Someone once told me 'you can do anything you want to do'.  It was an encouragement - meaning if I set my mind to do something and work hard for it, I can achieve it. In no way did it mean I'm brilliant at everything and I can just do it, if only!!  No, it meant my attitude is right to set my focus on something, to learn new things if I have to and to achieve. However, I don't see this as an excuse to not try harder, to improve our skills or to gain knowledge. 

We have to be careful not to become arrogant about our abilities - there's no doubt people in our families or work places who have natural talent for whatever it is that they do and it seems (to us, anyway) that they never really need to try too hard and it all 'just happens' for them.  Maybe that's true - maybe it isn't...but how is their attitude?  Are they boastful or a 'know-it-all' or perhaps they are down to earth, humble and ready to help anyone?  

We can't do anything about other people's attitudes but we can change our own.  Personally, I want to be the best I can be, especially in my job.  I want to do things right, I want to succeed and I want to be recognised for what I do (not sure if that last one is a good thing or not!).  I have dreams and aspirations for my career but along with that, I hope my attitude is right.  

James Caan talks about a 'positive mental attitude' and this is also very important.  I am usually a mix of 'glass half full' and 'glass half empty', some days, if one glass is half empty, then they all are!!!  A positive mental attitude can help us to see the best in everything, it helps us to move forward, to accept change, to learn from past experiences and not be held back by them.     

Let's check our attitudes!
  

How do you influence others?

I've only recently got excited by using Twitter. It took me a while to understand how it worked but now I get it I really enjoy it. I think I'm actually preferring it to Facebook. I generally use it for work related contacts and Facebook is more personal.

Anyway, I also found out recently that the hash tag #FF means Follow Friday and is a way to recommend your followers to follow other people or companies/groups etc. I have been included in a couple of these in the past few weeks and today thought it was my turn. I decided to tag people who I felt inspired by or have encouraged me in my work recently.

I think it's important to acknowledge those who influence you, who support you, who make themselves available to you and help you grow. Some of them do it directly, personally, others by just the way they do business, the things they say or how you see them respond to others.

So, just stop for a moment - what sort of influence have you been this week? Do the people around you see you as inspirational, steadfast or positive? Has your attitude been one of encouragement or discouragement? I find when I'm around positive and enthusiastic people it helps me to be the same and yet, on the other side of that, those who moan and complain, run other people down are the ones I try not to spend too much time with....the negativity rubs off too easily!

Sometimes people in the office say to me...'I couldn't do your job...all those people moaning at you!' Yeah? Well, sometimes is it a bit like that but I don't always see it that way. I provide a service and will do my best to help anyone - if they have a nice attitude then that makes it much easier but sadly the world isn't all nice!! I get a buzz from solving a problem, from seeing things work well, from avoiding unnecessary disruption from something that I do - if it results in a 'thank you' then even better! I'm nowhere near perfect but I hope I can be a positive influence on my team and others!

Lets consider what sort of influence we want to be....