Review of the WIFM Conference 2013

The date was Tuesday 12th November, and the location....the London Studios of ITV on London's Southbank.  Over 150 professional women from the BIFM (British Institute of Facilities Management) membership along with a decent scattering of men, gathered for the second annual conference of the BIFM's Special Interest Group "Women in FM" (WIFM).  This year's theme was "Your Journey" and what a journey we had.

After arriving and being welcomed by some lovely members of the WIFM Committee, Debra Ward, Chair of Women in FM, opened the day. She said she hoped the day would stimulate, challenge and inspire us both personally and professionally....we weren't let down!


Natalie Reynolds - Negotiating Your Journey

Debra introduced Natalie Reynolds, founder and director of advantage SPRING and works with a range of global companies to develop internal negotiation capability through coaching and training.

Natalie's presentation was titled 'Negotiating your Journey' and she explained that good negotiation ends with both parties feeling satisfied.    Negotiation will require different approaches for different situations. Natalie likened it to putting a jacket on or taking it off - change in persona or behaviour 'who do I need to be today?'.  It's not about being liked, it will be uncomfortable, the adrenalin will be pumping, heart will be pounding, palms may be sweating.

As with anything that might be uncomfortable planning and preparation is key.  Natalie suggested we map the variables, understand the priorities, plan our move and then plan some more!  Open extreme, don't start by saying what you want exactly, allow others to negotiate - allow them to feel that they got what they wanted too.  How about a trade?  Don't just give things away...if you...then I will.....  

Natalie went on to ask if negotiation was a 'man's game'?  The quick answer is NO!  Men and women can negotiate as well as each other, but just approach it differently.  She said as women we generally don't ask!  How can you get what you want when you don't ask for it?  When we do ask, we don't aim high enough!  We don't like changing character, don't like to say no and often more effective at negotiating for others. 

Natalie ended her presentation by explaining the Gorilla Effect to us - when told it's a man's role (to negotiate) aim to do better - puff out your chest, become the alpha, like the gorilla. And, have confidence (or 'balls') to start negotiating. 

Louise Webster - Your Journey after Kids
Louise shared her story of her journey after having her children and seeing other professional women at the school gates who weren't using the skills they had after having their own children.  Louise explained how she feels passionate about bringing a woman as a whole to the workplace - becoming a parent enhances the type of person we are and the skills and talents we have as parents can be brought into the workplace e.g. wisdom, compassion etc. 

Louise set up Beyond the School Run and presented some of the opportunities this has given her, including meeting with advisors at No 10 Downing Street.  Her website gives all the information of what it is she offers.  Her plan is to inspire, connect and engage.  She advises parents to 'be the change' and encourages them to explore the opportunities around them for flexible working. 


Lynette Allen - Personal Development of Your Journey
Lynette began her presentation by telling her story - it was inspiring. A woman feeling trapped in her situation yet wanting to become someone and not knowing how to do it. Fighting despite the fear and overcoming obstacles to become the successful woman she is today.  

She asked....what are the women who are successful doing that those unsuccessful aren't? And then gave us 6 points....

1. Ask for what you want
Work out what it is you want and then ask for it. People are not mind readers.

2. Blag it!
Blagging with confidence.  You might know the answer or how to do it....say 'leave it with me' and find out.  

3. Being visible
If you are invisible and desperate to be seen, ask, put yourself forward!  Don't wait for someone to come to you and ask you to do something!

4. Trust yourself
Women who don't believe how good they are don't have trust in themselves.  We lose trust in ourselves so easily.  Lynette suggested we use our intuition, look at facial expressions, have belief in ourselves. 

5. Put yourself forward for things
We make the decision that we aren't good enough before we give others opportunity to decide. Don't write yourself off!

6. Having an idea of what you want
What do I want?  How can we aim for something if we don't know what we're aiming at?  

If someone thinks you are good enough.... Don't spend 20mins explaining why you are not!

Lynette's end statement was brilliant....."If at first you succeed try not to look surprised"

We had a delicious lunch and a good natter with like-minded people, a photo shoot in front of the ITV banner (above) and tweeting it to the large screen in the room (I'm sure we were too excited about it!!). 

My BIFM WIFM Conference Buddies
L-R: Me, Tanya Brick, Robert Cunliffe, Jason Gurd

Miss Representation - documentary & debate
"The most common way people give up their power is by believing they have none" Alice Walker

Miss Representation explores how the media’s misrepresentations of women have led to the underrepresentation of women in positions of power and influence. And, how despite our achievements the worth of women is coming from how we look.  Young girls seeking an identity are learning from media that sexuality is empowerment.  
We are inspired by what we see - we need to be women of integrity in order to be seen by those who are influenced. 

The debate followed with an amazing panel made up of Anne Lennox Martin, Julie Kortens and David Emanuel.  The lovely Lucy Jeynes kept things running brilliantly and some of the main points are noted below:

• we need to collaborate with men now to go forward
• some are guilty but all are responsible
• we can recognise the issues but now all need to do our bit
• FM is not supporting buildings, it is supporting people working in buildings
• all of it starts with us
• build what you want
• keep being restless in order change - not being restless enough means only slow change
• looking after the ones we love comes first and we learn to live another day

The film can be found here if you'd like to watch it. 

Stella Creasy - The Politics of it All
Stella Creasy is the MP for Walthamstow.  She faced rape, death and bomb threats via social media following a campaign to get a woman on a UK bank note who isn't a monarch.  The reason? To celebrate one woman in society for the contribution they have made.
Stella told us of a Chinese (I think) saying "Woman hold up half the sky".

The growth of woman in senior positions has only been very very slow. There has only been a 4% increase of women in Government in the past 15 years.  Who is telling our story?  Woman are objectified. It has been proved that equal societies are more prosperous.  We (women) know we can do things.....and do them as good as men.  We can follow our dreams, work hard and achieve....anything we want.  

Stella spoke about The Bechdel Test.  It asks whether a work of fiction features at least two women who talk to each other about something other than a man.  Many contemporary works fail this test of gender bias.

'The truth will set you free but first it will piss you off!' Stella Creasy

It is important to support women to participate every step of the way.  We each have the power to say what we want. We need to build our internal confidence to help fight external battles.  

Stella suggested we have rooms for women in our workplaces. Somewhere for them to organise and collaborate. An opportunity to support and cheerlead each other and also somewhere to call into question those who either consciously or sub consciously prevent women from succeeding. 

Claire Smith - Overcoming Roadblocks at Home and Away


ThClaire encouraged us to enjoy the journey rather than it always being a struggle.  She said help can come from some surprising quarters but we won't know if we don't ask.  We should be supporting each other, women supporting women.  Unrealistic roles models lead to discouragement and are disheartening.  Some success stories are too shiny - they don't tell the full story, leaving out discouragements and compromises.  We need realistic role models who have real and honest conversations.  Making the best of our gifts and talents.

"There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women" Madeleine Albright
  
In the past women went through situations which made it tough to stay afloat and survive, never mind thrive.  Claire suggested we consider that some older woman may feel resentment towards the younger generation, perhaps they think we have it easier now?  What is their story? What happened to make them into the people they are now? 

Claire shared her story with some great tales and brilliant expressions which had us laughing.  She told us how some people had told her she couldn't do what she wanted to do, they said they were telling her for her own good.  Fortunately Claire didn't let that stop her from doing what she wanted to do and challenged them to tell her why she couldn't do what she wanted to do.  So, knowing that other people are very quick to make assumptions about you she gave some advice on how to get around those roadblocks.

1. Trust your instincts
You will know when you are being patronised.  If it makes you feel uncomfortable you are right.  Don't just talk, do something

2. Be determined
Be bloody minded - dress it up, say in own words but ask 'why not?' Don't be too reasonable

3. Ask for help as necessary....but choose very wisely. Choose your allies carefully.
You can define yourself about what you say about yourself and how you say it...do it on your terms

4. Keep going with skills and qualifications
Never be too busy to go to seminar, conference etc. other people doing same as you. Same struggles, you are not alone. 


So that is an overview!  It was a brilliant day, ending with wine and canapes, and the thanks and congratulations for a superb event must go to the WIFM Committee - they did a great job, it was a professional day and run very well indeed.  Can't wait for 2014!

One of the statistics!

I started this blog as a place to get some of the rambling thoughts in my head out although most of what has been written is to do with my professional life, today’s blog is personal.

I considered for a while whether this was an appropriate blog post but sometimes the difficult subjects to talk about are the ones which we really do need to share.  People say that you should separate your work life and your home life however I’m not sure that I agree.  What happens in your personal life will have an effect on how you are at work and if we’re interested in our people then surely this is part of it – part of what makes them tick, their vulnerabilities and weaknesses as well as those things they have overcome to make them into the people they are today.  This post explains why I've not blogged for a while!  

In December 2012 it was estimated that 42% of marriages in England and Wales end in divorce. (Office for National Statistics www.ons.gov.uk).  I have just become part of the statistics – I’m getting divorced.  It still feels like I’m talking about someone else when I write those words.  I got married 17 years ago to a man I thought I would be with forever!  Yet, four months ago he told me he didn’t want to be married to me anymore and had feelings for someone else.  My world shattered, my dreams died, my hope vanished and I was completely stunned and shocked that this was happening to me.  We didn’t have a perfect marriage (who does?) but I honestly never expected this to happen.

So why write about this now?  Well, despite it being four months ago, some days it feels like it has only just happened.  People around me try to say the right thing and I know it is all meant with good intentions but it’s similar to how we can react when we see someone who has lost a loved one – you don’t know what to say for the best but want to provide some words of comfort and encouragement.  Comments such as ‘you’re better off without him’ or ‘you’ll meet someone else’ are so unhelpful – I don’t feel better off without him and I don’t particularly want to meet anyone else right now.  The most popular one, once finding out he is with someone else (who incidentally is half his age) is ‘oh, it will never last!’.  It doesn’t really matter if it lasts or not – he’s still left, he still wanted to be with her more than he wanted to be with me and the rejection and feeling of not being worth fighting for is crushing.  The range of feelings is vast – typical for dealing with loss, grief for the loss of what could have been, for the death of a dream and that doesn’t have any timeframe on it of when I should have ‘got over it’ or ‘moved on’.  I’m going through a major life change – no one to share the day to day stuff with, having half a week with my children and the other half on my own, and the clinical process of legal paperwork - a couple of signatures, a few hundred quid and in a few weeks I’ll be divorced!

I still have the odd wobble and, although they are less, they can happen quite unexpectedly.  The overwhelming feeling of guilt that I could have done more which would have prevented this, the intense loneliness and insomnia.  I miss not having someone there to talk about nonsense with – something odd I saw on the way home from work or that I bought ‘such and such’ from the shop as it was on offer – real nonsense but conversations you perhaps don’t realise you have or take for granted that suddenly there’s no one there to tell.  My sister told me I could phone her to ask her what I should have for tea but I have resisted so far!!!

I have some amazing friends and my family have been so very supportive yet, when they are all married (and I don’t have any close friends who have been through divorce with children – and I think it does make a difference) it’s very hard to feel you can ‘bother’ them.  They often tell me that I’m doing ‘really well’ – I don’t know!  I don’t really know how I should be and most times I don’t feel like I’m doing very well.  I had to take my daughter’s Brownies uniform out of the washing basket and spray it with Febreze last week because I hadn’t got around to washing it – I told a colleague thinking we’d have a bit of a giggle and a ‘nevermind, we all do that sometimes’ but she promptly told me that it wasn’t good and gave suggestions on how to run my household – that really piled on the guilt!!  I have to remind myself that I’m not a bad person, just in a bad situation right now.  I have to be patient with myself that this may take some time to overcome, that I need to give myself a break, take care of myself and despite not always understanding how I feel, allow myself to feel the way I do without worrying about what other people think.  There is no timeframe for recovering from grief. 

How can you help?  You might not know me personally and that’s fine.  These are my tips for how you could help me right now and maybe some of them will be things you can do for your own friends who may be in the a similar situation –

1.       Don’t bash the ex – yes, he’s been an arse; yes, what he has done is awful; yes, it may not last; yes, I do deserve better – BUT, these things are for me to say.  Please don’t bash him – he is still the father of my children, the man I have spent nearly half my life with and I do still care for him.

2.       Give me a hug – physical touch is good for us.

3.       You don’t need to give advice or offer answers – listening is just fine. 

4.       Still be friends with M if you want to be – I’m fine with that and I think he may just need some friends in the future!

5.       Don’t gossip – I was gutted to have people I hardly know coming up to me saying ‘I’m sorry about you and M – x told me!!!!!!!’ – that’s not your news to tell.

Why am I sharing all of this?  I think it’s important to share real life experiences.  I hope that, one day, I’ll be able to help someone who might be going through something similar to me – to stand by them and say ‘I understand’ and ‘it’s ok’.  I know that I will be ok, that this struggle is just temporary.  I know life will be different (it already is) but I will be fine.  I will be more than fine, I will thrive, I will succeed, I will be happy again.

You are what you wear.....or are you???

Formal, business, smart, smart-casual, casual......all ways of describing the type of clothes we wear!

Do the clothes we wear affect how we work?  Does it affect our influence on our customers or colleagues?  How we present ourselves.

From the little research I've done before writing this, it seems that the opinion is divided between those who think dressing for work should be smart and others who think casual is fine.  A question was posted on Twitter just recently regarding what smart-casual is and this blog post has come out of that.  There was a variety of responses.

It's an interesting subject to consider - in my office we have recently be advised that senior management in our head office have decided all the men should wear ties again (requirement for ties had been relaxed for some time, unless meeting with clients).  I had heard that some staff members (not from my office) had been away on business in a Southern Hemisphere country and had gone to visit their clients wearing shorts and t-shirts!  I have to wonder why these 'professionals' even considered this would be acceptable dress for a business meeting - never mind how hot it was!  It obviously didn't create the right first impression.

I also heard a story about a relationship manager going to meet their corporate client and turned up to their office to find all the staff in jeans and flip flops and felt it could have been the office of a well-known social media provider, rather than an office of corporate professionals managing their clients' millions of pounds!  Why did the manager feel that way? 

I had a look into what 'casual' means and came up with the following:

- being without ceremony or formalising, relaxed (casual events)
- being or seeming unconcerned or apathetic (casual attitude)
- shallow or superficial (casual affair)
- not serious or thorough, hasty and without attention to detail (casual inspection)
- without definite or serious intention, offhand (casual remark)

All seems to be negative in my opinion.  

I wonder if I'm slightly biased writing this - my own opinion is that working in a professional environment (for me it's facilities management within the finance industry) should mean we dress for that environment. Smart dress, smart mind!  Does sloppy dress mean sloppy work?  Does casual dress mean casual attitude?  That we don't work as hard?  Are we as productive wearing jeans and t-shirt as we are wearing a suit?  Do we work better if we feel comfortable in what we are wearing?

Personally, I feel better about myself if I make a little bit of an effort when I get dressed in the mornings.  Being very honest, there are very few times when I like what I see in the mirror and if I can feel confident in what I'm wearing then it helps with my confidence in the office and facing the variety of issues/dramas of daily life in facilities management!!  Something smart, high heels, hair done nicely and a bit of make up will make me feel a little more powerful.  Then there's the 'lucky pants'!  Actually I don't have lucky pants but a matching set of underwear is always a good way to start the day (however, if you ever meet me you can't ask me about it - I blush very easily!!!!!).

Let's get back to the point......perhaps there's an argument for wearing something in-between?  Smart-casual?  What about 'dress down Friday'?  I feel like I'm asking more questions rather than giving answers.  I don't think I have the answers. 

Should what we wear be a matter of personal choice?  Does it matter what our customers' think or expect?  What do we expect when we go into an establishment?  A bank or insurance office?  A hotel or restaurant?  I'm sure we all have expectations.....what are they?  Should we pay attention to our own expectations of others when we make the decision of what we are going to wear, how we portray ourselves. 

Please feel free to leave comments, giving your thoughts on this.  It would be great to have feedback!

The importance of management in FM

On Twitter recently there has been some discussion over what to call FM for the hash tag.....should it be #facilitiesmanagement or #facilitymanagement or even #facman?  Another suggestion was to forget management and just use #facilities.

It just so happened that at the end of last week I attended the quarterly training day of the BIFM's South West Region, which was held at the Bristol Hilton Hotel.  One of the speakers was the fabulous Liz Kentish (The FM Coach and deputy chair of the BIFM).  Liz's presentation focused on transformational skills and developing the leadership and management skills of facilities managers so they can be influencing and driving business rather than just supporting the facilities function.  

I think it is such an important point to remember.  Read the extract below.... I have to confess I can't remember where I got it from...(it was in an FM magazine a little while ago and I apologise to whoever wrote it for not acknowledging you - please let me know if it was you!!)

Don't get too distracted by the word "Facilities".

FM is primarily a management skill, the Facilities side is the specialisation of that skill. As a management discipline, many of the skills you could expect are commonplace in management disciplines; Communicating, negotiation, presentation, relationship management, people management, process management, resource allocation, prioritisation, etc. 

But, the Facilities part of FM is the specialisation. FM is a broad, varied & complicated discipline. Experience and knowledge give a big shortcut, but primarily I would say the skills required are practicality, tenacity, resilience, being able to work alone, good judgement, decision making, attention to detail and drive to specialise and improve your knowledge. 

No one is born knowing how the air-conditioning works (or perhaps more relevantly: why it isn't working right now), but a good FM will find out. They'll look into it, they'll ask people, they'll make their engineers explain it to them and they'll test the competency of "experts" by asking difficult questions until they are satisfied with the answers.

Let's remember that we are managing facilities services and work to develop the skills to do our jobs better.

Women in a man's world?

This could be such a long post and there's an awful lot of thoughts going round in my head!

It's interesting to me that there is such a stereotyping of roles for genders.  Most of it is just taken as 'that's just how it is'....but it doesn't have to be like that.

My two young daughters were watching a children's programme on television where a man and a lady dress up and pretend to do different jobs....this particular show had the lady dressing up as a builder...and my 4 year old made a groan of displeasure and muttered something about it being a boys job!  I don't think I've ever told her that she could be a builder if she wanted to be....the general assumption is that builders are men. 

I was invited to attend the Guernsey Women's Development Forum recently and was very interested in the topic of "female breadwinners".

I think women have a pretty clear understanding of what issues they face so perhaps it is time for the men to be involved in these presentations, for them to hear and start to understand the battles we face as women in our professions. But on the other side, what about the attitude of women...I am not a fan of generalisation and tend to avoid it if I can....... I think there should be an opportunity for men to be involved in these conversations that women have.

I also think that positions in leaderships and on boards should be given on the merits of the individual; what skills does that person have? What is their experience? Or level of expertise? What can they bring to our business and how can they help move the business forward and make improve,nets I. The areas important to us? Eg bottom line, market share, reputation etc.

I don't think it is right for it to be a competition between men and women as to who can get to the top but more so an opportunity of working together. To compliment each other. Does it matter if there isn't a woman in the leadership team or on the board? Yes and no! Depends on the reasons why. If its because the men have an attitude of the women not being up to job then that's not right but if there really isn't a woman in the organisation with the right skills or experience to offer value to the team then there's no point in having a woman in the team for the sake of it.

We're still changing the traditional mindset....how many of us grew up with the man of the house being the provider and the woman being the homemaker and childminder? Many families still work this way but I think it is changing.  I think women faced the dilemma of needing to go out to work again during the 1980s when interest rates were high and mortgages were a struggle.  It came out of necessity, women not really having much choice.  They gained a sense of independence, of achievement and could make their own financial contribution to their family.  

From this I think perhaps some of these women actually decided they liked working.....it wasn't just working because they had to, they enjoyed it, found it more purposeful and satisfying than being at home.  I'm not denying being a homemaker and looking after children isn't an important job, it certainly is and I, personally, take my hat off to those mothers who are full time careers for their families. It's a tough job!

My own experience is interesting....I have two children,one at school and one starting later this year.  Just over two years ago I went back to work full time, purely due to financial need and my husband became part time and took over the school and nursery run and after school care.  At first I hated it!  But, as time has gone on, it's been the best thing we ever did.  Financially, we manage better, I enjoy my job and fee like I'm making a career out of it and my husband is much better at looking after the girls than I am!!  He says he wouldn't want to go back to work full time now.  We are basically playing to our strengths.  We work well as a team.  I couldn't do what I do without him being there for our children.  Other people seem to have more of an issue with it than we do!  I go away on business from time to time, being away from home for a night to two; I study or work late.  It's not an issue for us but for others it is, however, if I was a man doing this job, working late, going away on business no head would turn, no second thought would be Ives...it's what men do....right?  

Perhaps now is the time to realise that women can have a career, that they can do just as well as men but lets not make it a competition, lets make it a collaboration, complimentary members of teams, of leadership, of boards.  

There's so much more I could say.....maybe that's another post sometime?

How's your attitude?

It’s your ATTITUDE not your APTITUDE that determines your ALTITUDE

http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130501104129-32175171-it-s-your-attitude-not-your-aptitude-that-determines-your-altitude

James Caan has written an article (see link above) about this statement.

I think I have to agree with him. The attitude we have will always make a difference to how we get on in life.  This isn't just about work; I think our attitude is important in all aspects of our lives. 

Someone once told me 'you can do anything you want to do'.  It was an encouragement - meaning if I set my mind to do something and work hard for it, I can achieve it. In no way did it mean I'm brilliant at everything and I can just do it, if only!!  No, it meant my attitude is right to set my focus on something, to learn new things if I have to and to achieve. However, I don't see this as an excuse to not try harder, to improve our skills or to gain knowledge. 

We have to be careful not to become arrogant about our abilities - there's no doubt people in our families or work places who have natural talent for whatever it is that they do and it seems (to us, anyway) that they never really need to try too hard and it all 'just happens' for them.  Maybe that's true - maybe it isn't...but how is their attitude?  Are they boastful or a 'know-it-all' or perhaps they are down to earth, humble and ready to help anyone?  

We can't do anything about other people's attitudes but we can change our own.  Personally, I want to be the best I can be, especially in my job.  I want to do things right, I want to succeed and I want to be recognised for what I do (not sure if that last one is a good thing or not!).  I have dreams and aspirations for my career but along with that, I hope my attitude is right.  

James Caan talks about a 'positive mental attitude' and this is also very important.  I am usually a mix of 'glass half full' and 'glass half empty', some days, if one glass is half empty, then they all are!!!  A positive mental attitude can help us to see the best in everything, it helps us to move forward, to accept change, to learn from past experiences and not be held back by them.     

Let's check our attitudes!
  

How do you influence others?

I've only recently got excited by using Twitter. It took me a while to understand how it worked but now I get it I really enjoy it. I think I'm actually preferring it to Facebook. I generally use it for work related contacts and Facebook is more personal.

Anyway, I also found out recently that the hash tag #FF means Follow Friday and is a way to recommend your followers to follow other people or companies/groups etc. I have been included in a couple of these in the past few weeks and today thought it was my turn. I decided to tag people who I felt inspired by or have encouraged me in my work recently.

I think it's important to acknowledge those who influence you, who support you, who make themselves available to you and help you grow. Some of them do it directly, personally, others by just the way they do business, the things they say or how you see them respond to others.

So, just stop for a moment - what sort of influence have you been this week? Do the people around you see you as inspirational, steadfast or positive? Has your attitude been one of encouragement or discouragement? I find when I'm around positive and enthusiastic people it helps me to be the same and yet, on the other side of that, those who moan and complain, run other people down are the ones I try not to spend too much time with....the negativity rubs off too easily!

Sometimes people in the office say to me...'I couldn't do your job...all those people moaning at you!' Yeah? Well, sometimes is it a bit like that but I don't always see it that way. I provide a service and will do my best to help anyone - if they have a nice attitude then that makes it much easier but sadly the world isn't all nice!! I get a buzz from solving a problem, from seeing things work well, from avoiding unnecessary disruption from something that I do - if it results in a 'thank you' then even better! I'm nowhere near perfect but I hope I can be a positive influence on my team and others!

Lets consider what sort of influence we want to be....

What a week!!

http://www.bifm.org.uk/bifm/news/6933

It has been an exciting week! On Tuesday and Wednesday I was part of the launch events for the BIFM Channel Islands Branch in Jersey and Guernsey. 

Between the two events we saw around 100 people who are involved in some way in the facilities manage-ment profession.  The feedback of the launch events was really positive, many people saying how long they had been waiting for something like this in the Islands.  

It was exciting to hear from Gareth Tancred, the CEO of the BIFM about what facilities management is all about, what the BIFM does and wants to do and the aspirations for the institute over the next three years!  This was followed by a talk from Linda Hausmanis, the Head of Awarding Organisation at the BIFM, explaining the progress of the range professional qualifications in facilities management and how there is a significant focus on making facilities management a 'career of choice'. 

Still on a 'high' from Tuesday and Wednesday I came home from work on Thursday to find the 25th April edition of the profession's magazine FM World had arrived in the post.  http://www.fm-world.co.uk/digitaledition/ 

I opened it and started to skim through to see what had been included, wondering if anything about the Channel Island Launch had already been included.  I was surprised to see, on page 15, the 'Five minutes with' article was about our Deputy Chair of the branch, Darren Etasse.  I had a quick read and then my eyes flicked to the other side of the page where the 'best of the FMWorld blogs' showed two blog posts related to facilities management.....one of them was MINE!!  Wow! I couldn't believe it - my hope was that one day I would have something of mine published in an industry publication but hadn't expected this.  To those of you who follow me on Twitter or who are friends of mine on Facebook, I apologise if I was a little over-excited!!!!!  (I was over-excited!).

I want to make a difference to this industry, to the way it is viewed and the recognition owed to so many people.  

Gareth Tancred, in his presentation at the launch events, noted that the facilities management industry's percentage contribution to the UK economy was almost the same as that of the financial services industry.  It makes sense - as he also said....every building has to have a facilities manager.  How else does it run?  Every school, hospital, museum, office, medical centre, old people's residence, police station, business premises, shopping centre (any building) has to be 'run' - is maintained, fixed, looked after - the invisible job....it's done by people just like you and me!

As the BIFM continues to encourage facilities management as a 'career of choice' let us, those of us in the facilities management profession, give ourselves the credit we deserve.  Recognise yourself as being in a worthwhile professional role....and, as we do that it will increase the value of what we do.  It will encourage younger people to realise it is a professional job, something they might aspire to become.  It may be that the majority of facilities managers have 'fallen' into the job or developed the role but let's stop that happening to others - let's make it a chosen career for others!

Where do you want to go?

This is probably a question I ask myself far too often! Why can I not be satisfied to plod along where I am? Instead, always be looking to improve, do more, become more?

Interesting thoughts most of the time but at other times I frustrate myself, become confused and end up berating myself! I'm just over half way through my BIFM diploma and yet for ages I've been thinking about what I might want to do next.  I'm taking on more responsibility at work, developing my skills through what I do, wanting to grow, wanting to be better.

So, what do you want to do? Where do you want your career to go? I know I'm not alone in admitting I "fell into facilities management" and yet looking back I can see bits of FM in previous jobs which I perhaps took on without even realising what it was.  I really enjoy my job (most of the time!) but yet can't help but wonder where is it heading?  What's the next step?

Time to grow

"Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow." - Ralph Waldo Emerson"

Life is all about learning isn't it? From the moment we are conceived we begin to grow. The cells multiply, limbs and organs form and over the course of 9 months or so a baby grows and is born. An amazing miracle of life.


But it doesn't stop there....a baby is born and then grows....constantly learning....learning how to feed, how to communicate, how to hold things, to eat solid food, to roll over, crawl, walk and talk. It never stops....what about writing, reading, riding a bike, getting dressed by themselves.....I could keep going!!

How odd it would be if a child rode a bike with stabilisers and did that forever because they were so good at it. They'd never really need to take them off and learn how to ride the bike without them....but you don't see teenagers riding a bike with stabilisers do you???!!! Nope, once they can ride the bike with stabilisers the next thing is to be able to do it without stabilisers. And as they grow older they move on to scooters, motorbikes and cars!

It's all too easy to find a comfortable place in our lives where we just sit thinking that we've achieved enough, thinking we've reached the top of the game whether that is in our professional lives or otherwise. Being comfortable and confident, knowing we've achieved is a great place, but is it enough? Is it ok to stay there and not do anymore? Perhaps? Maybe for some people it is. However for others maybe it isn't......it's called aspiration isn't it? Wanting to achieve and to grow.  

But what is this growth all about? Growing in knowledge? Gaining qualifications? Learning new skills? 

I think it is more than just learning - I think it is about believing in yourself, about not giving up or giving in - to not be scared of challenges ahead and how they will change us.

What does it mean to you? Are you prepared to grow?


 

The value of the FM

I'm talking about the individual FM within an organisation, rather than the profession of FM.  

I was talking on the telephone to someone the other day and we were discussing the profile of FMs amongst other areas of business and how our colleagues view the job we do.  In my opinion, most of the low view of the FM is down to ignorance.

Over the years the FM role has evolved, perhaps from caretaker and handyman, along with the managing director's PA or office manager taking care of the admin side. 

I'm currently studying a BIFM Level 4 Diploma in Facilities Management and whilst in the office late one evening, writing an assignment, a colleague asked why I was there after hours - i explained and his response was "oh, do you need a diploma to change a lightbulb?".  He would have been delighted to know he wound me up with that comment, however my quick retort, which I couldn't possible repeat here, sent him on his way knowing I was less than impressed by his so-called humour. 

From talking to other FMs I find they often say things like 'no-one knows what I do' and 'I don't get recognition for what I do'.  I've mentioned in a previous post that people only notice what we do when it goes wrong or isn't done! So how do we change this view?

It's time to raise our own profile, to promote ourselves, time to let people in your organisation know what it is that you do.  Let's not just tell people about the things that go wrong or are waiting to be fixed, tell them the good stuff too.  In my experience, I started to get respect and recognition by sending out general emails to let people know the status of what I was doing.  We have regular 'communication' meetings with the heads of departments and I will let the attendees know the types of things I've been working on and issues we face.

Don't just sit there waiting for someone to notice you and what you do - tell people!  

True confidence or just a good actor?

I'm going to start this post with a recent personal experience...

I attended a work meeting by video conference.  All the other participants (approx 12 people) were in one meeting room in London and I was the only one in my location.  I didn't know all the people in the room I was looking at, just a few of them.  It was all going well until I was asked to present the report from my location....everybody I could see on the television screen turned and looked at me!  I froze!!  I wasn't particularly confident about sharing the information as I don't know the subject as well as other people, so on top of my already nervous state I began to feel completely intimidated, tongue tied and went on to babble my way through the report, using the phrase 'it's all self explanatory' to get me out of most of it.  

A week later and I'm still cross with myself for not knowing the subject as well as I should and for not being prepared enough (although I didn't know I'd have to talk about it)!  But why, in all of this, was my confidence on the floor?

I look at other people in my office or even in the meeting that morning, and think about how well they come across, how they talk with confidence and authority in their subject(s) and yet I just fall apart (this isn't the first time it's happened!).  

Are these other people really as confident as they seem or do they just come across as being confident.  I always remember someone who once said "if you sound like you know what you're talking about you can get away with it!"  I know it works....I've tried it.  However, sometimes you do actually need to know what you're talking about, especially when other people know the same subject and will know if you're just talking rubbish!

So how do I grow in confidence?  

I know that I have to believe what I have to say is just as important as what anyone else has to say.  I have experienced heckling from other members of meetings when trying to say my piece....apart from being disrespectful I found this rude and felt for a while that perhaps people don't see what I have to offer as being valuable or important.  Maybe I didn't feel it was important either - maybe I didn't speak with authority and confidence in my topic.  

1. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

2. Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you are right. ~ Henry Ford

 Am I too hard on myself?  Sometimes I think I am. But at the same time, I want to be the best I can be at what I do.  One of my colleagues I mentioned in my last post will often remind me to have belief in myself - he's right - I should.  

Emotionally intelligent?

A few years ago a manager of mine told me I needed to gain some emotional intelligence, to become less emotionally dependent. 

At the time I felt like he was saying 'you cry too much'!!  I probably did cry too easily and definitely took things way too personally....but in the wonderful view of hindsight I can see now that his comment was an encouragement to grow up, to become more mature and less reliant on what other people think of me and trying to gain their approval. To believe in myself and be confident in my ability.

That doesn't mean it was an instant change or even that I think I've got there yet but I'm continually learning more about myself, and about others and what makes us 'tick'. However, I do worry less about what people think of me and am more confident in my ability...(on a good day!). I can usually make sense of why I might react to something in a certain way or how others might react. I've learnt to read other people better and know that the way I approach one person won't be the way I can approach another.

I read an interesting article from www.thesumoguy.com Paul McGee about treating others how they would want to be treated, rather than the old way of treating others how you would want to be treated. It made a lot of sense to me even though I'd not thought of it that way before. Within the working environment I have usually treated those in the team I manage in the way I would like to be treated and thought that was quite alright, but I more recently I have considered more what they need from me and how they would like me to be with them and it has made a positive difference. It's not easy but the outcome does make the effort worth it.

I've learnt more about myself, set myself some challenges and am continuing to grow.  I have one or two people in my professional world who I would consider 'mentors' who have and continue to be great influences on me. They are people who I respect and I will give a call to when I either find myself in a situation I'm not sure how to deal with or just need someone to run something by.  

And the manager that made that comment.....well he's not been my manager for some time but I am grateful for the influence he's been in my work life - he's been a part of making me the person I am today.

A cog in the wheel

So how many times have we heard or even used this expression?  Sometimes it's said 'a small cog in a big wheel'.  Do we use it to describe ourselves or others?   

Within business everyone has a part to play to make it successful.  So why is it that some people see some positions are more important as others?  Or maybe it is that they see themselves as more important than others?

It's not uncommon for me to hear from other facilities managers that they don't feel appreciated or that their role isn't understood.  I usually tell people that it's only when I don't do my job that people will notice!  We all come into our office, security tag lets you in, the lift works and the lights come on. The temperature suits the time of year (usually!!!), desks are clean and there's a chair ready to sit down on.  Head towards the kitchen and get a drink - there's fresh milk in the fridge, there's clean mugs and spoons and the tea and coffee is all there too.  Bathrooms are clean, stocked with toilet paper and soap (and in our office, even hand cream!). And that's just what happens in the first part of the day - facilities management is much more than just this though!

How did all this happen?  Do we even think about it?  There are exceptions, of course, but generally I think people don't give a second thought to how that all happened.  But if it didn't happen.......

Is it time for us to appreciate each other more?  Should we be more aware of what other people in our business actually do and the part they play in making things happen?  

It doesn't matter how small or how big the cog is.....if it isn't there then the wheel won't work!

"Failures don't define you. If you let them, they make you."

Wikipedia says...."failure is the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective, and may be viewed as the opposite of success".

There are an awful lot of quotes and cliches relating to failure.....

• Thomas A Edison said "I have not failed.  I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work".

• Winston Churchill said "Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm".

• "Failure is an event, not a person" 

and there are hundreds, if not thousands more like this. 


The opinion of when something is a failure will vary from event to event or person to person.  Some things will be obvious - such as passing or failing an exam or test but other events or situations will be more to do with how they are perceived either by ourselves or by others. 

The thought of failing may stop some people from even trying.  Setting our expectations too high may lead us to viewing something as a failure if it doesn't achieve that, possibly unrealistic, expected result.  Getting a job done won't be seen as failure to the person that wants it done but perhaps the person doing it knows they could have done better - maybe that's viewed as a failure.  

Is anything less than perfect a failure?  

We must not be define by those things we term as failures.  I think Thomas A Edison made a very sensible comment - he didn't fail, but found lots of ways that didn't work.  I believe the failure would have been if he had given up.  If he had not pursued to getting a positive result.  

Can failure make you?  I guess it can!  We can learn from our mistakes.  We can learn not to do those things again.  We can also learn that we don't have to do things perfectly in order to still get a job done and we can learn from others and the mistakes they make.  Those things we view as failures may just be a case of finding our strengths and weaknesses, the things which come naturally to us and those that don't.  

Don't let failure become part of who you are - it isn't!  

Before you quit, remember why you started!

Another interesting statement and applicable to so many areas of life.  For example....the decision you made to go to the gym more often and get fit; going through a difficult period in a long term relationship or marriage; a job you loved, that seemed so perfect at first is now lost its appeal.

This is quite relevant to a situation I currently find myself in.  The longest commitment I've ever made is my marriage...16 years and counting....but I know with lots of other things I tend to become bored quite quickly and if the challenge isn't there I easily loose interest!  This is evident in hobbies I've taken up, the times I've gone on a diet or started at a gym and even years ago deciding to study again.  

It's so easy to become bored, disheartened and disillusioned.  I'm a bit of an idealist - I run through scenarios in my head, I repeat conversations, replay what happened and how much it differed to how I wanted or intended it to play out.  What starts off as a good idea and creates a buzz in me, a passion and true enthusiasm fades into disappointment, regret and stress.  

So, is it just me?  Do I just lack will power or the determination to succeed? Am I just not prepared to work hard enough to get results?  Is it because I want things my way too much? Or am I not good enough - punching above my weight?  

If you type 'ready to give up' into Google (and I'm sure any other search engines) there are pages and pages of relevant articles and websites - ranging from people who are saying they don't feel they can live their lives anymore, to the ones talking about stress in the workplace and other stuff in between.  There's loads of advice and suggestions - have a look at some!

I don't have the answers to why I feel like I do, however I will try to remember why I started what I've started and why I felt so passionately about it in the first place and re-focus on why it was so important to see if that is still true!