Emotionally intelligent?

A few years ago a manager of mine told me I needed to gain some emotional intelligence, to become less emotionally dependent. 

At the time I felt like he was saying 'you cry too much'!!  I probably did cry too easily and definitely took things way too personally....but in the wonderful view of hindsight I can see now that his comment was an encouragement to grow up, to become more mature and less reliant on what other people think of me and trying to gain their approval. To believe in myself and be confident in my ability.

That doesn't mean it was an instant change or even that I think I've got there yet but I'm continually learning more about myself, and about others and what makes us 'tick'. However, I do worry less about what people think of me and am more confident in my ability...(on a good day!). I can usually make sense of why I might react to something in a certain way or how others might react. I've learnt to read other people better and know that the way I approach one person won't be the way I can approach another.

I read an interesting article from www.thesumoguy.com Paul McGee about treating others how they would want to be treated, rather than the old way of treating others how you would want to be treated. It made a lot of sense to me even though I'd not thought of it that way before. Within the working environment I have usually treated those in the team I manage in the way I would like to be treated and thought that was quite alright, but I more recently I have considered more what they need from me and how they would like me to be with them and it has made a positive difference. It's not easy but the outcome does make the effort worth it.

I've learnt more about myself, set myself some challenges and am continuing to grow.  I have one or two people in my professional world who I would consider 'mentors' who have and continue to be great influences on me. They are people who I respect and I will give a call to when I either find myself in a situation I'm not sure how to deal with or just need someone to run something by.  

And the manager that made that comment.....well he's not been my manager for some time but I am grateful for the influence he's been in my work life - he's been a part of making me the person I am today.