I attended a work meeting by video conference. All the other participants (approx 12 people) were in one meeting room in London and I was the only one in my location. I didn't know all the people in the room I was looking at, just a few of them. It was all going well until I was asked to present the report from my location....everybody I could see on the television screen turned and looked at me! I froze!! I wasn't particularly confident about sharing the information as I don't know the subject as well as other people, so on top of my already nervous state I began to feel completely intimidated, tongue tied and went on to babble my way through the report, using the phrase 'it's all self explanatory' to get me out of most of it.
A week later and I'm still cross with myself for not knowing the subject as well as I should and for not being prepared enough (although I didn't know I'd have to talk about it)! But why, in all of this, was my confidence on the floor?
I look at other people in my office or even in the meeting that morning, and think about how well they come across, how they talk with confidence and authority in their subject(s) and yet I just fall apart (this isn't the first time it's happened!).
Are these other people really as confident as they seem or do they just come across as being confident. I always remember someone who once said "if you sound like you know what you're talking about you can get away with it!" I know it works....I've tried it. However, sometimes you do actually need to know what you're talking about, especially when other people know the same subject and will know if you're just talking rubbish!
So how do I grow in confidence?
I know that I have to believe what I have to say is just as important as what anyone else has to say. I have experienced heckling from other members of meetings when trying to say my piece....apart from being disrespectful I found this rude and felt for a while that perhaps people don't see what I have to offer as being valuable or important. Maybe I didn't feel it was important either - maybe I didn't speak with authority and confidence in my topic.
- Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
- Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you are right. ~ Henry Ford
Am I too hard on myself? Sometimes I think I am. But at the same time, I want to be the best I can be at what I do. One of my colleagues I mentioned in my last post will often remind me to have belief in myself - he's right - I should.
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